High Speed Cruise

Driving down the road with my top down, music blasting, giving everyone and everything a middle finger, and just not having a care in the world! Life is good!

*sirens*

Huh? What’s going on?

*more sirens*

Who’s coming up from behind??

*🚨🚨🚔🚔* Police: Pull over now!!!

Oh great…….the pigs. Screw them, here’s some middle fingers boys.

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Now I’ll continue my driving please. *blasts music*

At this point, I’m cruising. Yep, that’s exactly correct. The cops aren’t going to ruin my good time. They want a high speed chase? That’s on them. I’m relaxing. You know what? I need the perfect song for this moment.

*turns on Tequila by The Champs*

Now let’s roll! Cops are now pursuing me as we’re coming across a turnpike. I’m thinking oh crap, this could go wrong but then again, I’m cruising. So what did I do next? Drove off the road through trees and bushes. Ended up on this dirt track that led to a 2 lane road. No cops in sight. HA! GOT THEM! Now let me continue my cruise. Suddenly, I hear sirens again. F**k. Yep, it’s the cops again. Now I’m irritated. Ugh, let’s continue this crap I suppose.

So I kept driving normally again like it was nothing. Cops are just harassing me! I wondered to myself, “Well, I can either continue this sh*t or I can surrender….”

Yeah…..that’s not happening.

So what I did next was dumb I’ll admit. I drove off the road again. This time, crashing my vehicle into a big rock. What in the actual f**k. Somehow I was fine so I decided to come out of the wreckage and walk back up to the road. As I got to the road, there were cops everywhere. All of them, guns drawn, looking like they’re ready to fire at any moment. What exactly was the problem? I was only cruising you know? Whatever.

They handcuffed me and sent me away in one of their squad cars. I didn’t care at this point.

My final thought was, “God, please bail me the f**k out of prison.”

I just want to cruise again.